Letting go of what was and accepting what is sounds like a complex process. It can be and yet once there is a sense of self awareness it all falls into place.

Pain or resistance to something that is happening or spoken is an indication that you are not happy. There is an opportunity in that moment to dive a little deeper and use the moment to learn more about yourself.

What are you feeling? Are you wanting to push the moment or the person away? What are you experiencing to push that moment away?

The pushing away or avoiding a moment is something that happens really quickly. In a heartbeat your subconscious mind has decided it does not like the situation, feels it is unsafe, has a plan and implemented it before you even have a chance to breath in and out. This could be true, and then again it might also be untrue. But if you do not have a chance to even think about it, how can you rewire how you process things? You can't, but with some practice and rethinking you can.

So where do you start?

Firstly just become aware of how you react to things. Here are a few examples of moments;

1. You have to make a decision about something and cannot choose. Instead you go off and do something completely unrelated thinking that it is important but all it is doing is keeping you busy. You end up not making a decision and end up feeling useless, and your inner voice has this on repeat. The next decision you have to make, you handle the same way and now this process is on rinse and repeat.

2. An awkward exchange with a work colleague leaves you feeling unsupported. You ignore how you are feeling in that moment but end up feeling worse as the day goes on and isolate yourself not wanting to be around anyone at all. You subsequently feel as though no one cares. Your inner voice tells you this over and over making you feel like you want to isolate yourself more. The next exchange which might be similar goes the same way.

3. You avoid making an important phone call as you feel like a bad person (the news you have to share is not good). You then feel worse and worse and go from just feeling bad to a sense of shame through to you are bad! There is a delay in getting the information to the person you were meant to call and now you feel even worse. Not only do you now feel like you cannot communicate well but you hated making someone feel sad. You do not know how the other person feels but your inner voice has a story all made up which is played on repeat.

Uggg. This all feels exhausting, right?

Now what?

Without beating yourself up, think about what you do in each of these examples. Reflect on them in detail and as you do think about what you could do differently.

1. Recognise that finding something else to do is a distraction from making a decision. It also starts the process of feeling useless at the end of it all. Allow yourself to feel the awkwardness of not wanting to make a decision. This is what you are avoiding, the feeling bit. But now that you have felt it, perhaps it does not feel so bad. Maybe there are other feelings also. It is ok to feel them, even if only a little bit. This awareness allows you to accept what is now, and you can then start to make a different choice. Each time this happens you will rewire how you process similar moments.

2. Looking at this situation, what about it lead you to feeling unsupported? Describe the feelings to yourself and acknowledge to you how this moment is. Tell yourself that that this was between you and one person, not everyone. Also tell yourself that you support you and that there are other ways to get the support you need. Be the kind inner voice that you need to hear at this time.

3. Feeling anxious or sad about needing to do something is natural. At times like this we all have that inner voice that could be more supportive, and with practice it can be. Part of accepting what is allows you to also realise that how you are reacting is part of your past. Once you recognise this it becomes easier to bypass how you would have acted to now act differently in that moment.

Do you want some support or help with this?

Using a combination of energy work and coaching I have a unique approach to working through this. By releasing trapped energy around moments like what I have mentioned above, this allows you to rewire the way you would like to react to these moments effortlessly and without the need to relive any trauma or moments from your past. Then with some coaching tips and practice you are well on your way to being able to make decisions easily, feel good about interacting with others and not needing to keep yourself busy as a distraction.

Accept what is, let go of what was

❤️As we heal we expect to hurt less

❤️As we become more aware of our pain it can feel like things are getting worse and hurting more

❤️What happens though is we become less afraid of the pain and the reasons behind it

❤️We allow more, acknowledge without judgement and accept ourselves as we are and were

❤️and this is when we know that as we heal we hurt less